What is PRESENCE ?

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in
awhile,
you could miss it."

What is PRESENCE?

A man going abroad to work leaves his fiancee crying. "Don't worry, I
will
write you everyday," he said. For years he did write her. But since he
was
happy with his job, he had no immediate plans of going home.

One day, he received a wedding invitation. His girlfriend was scheduled
to
be married. To whom? To the mailman bringing regularly the letters of
her
boyfriend! Indeed, distance does make hearts flounder.

The poor boyfriend surely explained, "What went wrong? I sent her
letters,
chocolates, and flowers."

When relationships go wrong, the list of things given and done for the
person usually crops up. We say, "I have given you this ! and that... I
have done these things for you." It seems that love is simply proven by
the
bestowal of gifts and favors. But while presents are important, love
demands what is basic: 'presence of the beloved'.

I have observed for instance, the orchids of my mother's. When she's
away
for a long time, they are unhealthy and many of them wither. But when
she
is around, they bloom with beautiful flowers. My mother does nothing
exceptional. She just spends much time talking and caressing them.

I guess human all the more require a caring presence.

Love is fundamentally a commitment to a person. We may be committed to
our
business, job, hobby, sports and clubs. But strictly speaking, they
cannot
love us back. Only a person can love us in return, and for that matter,
the
highest commitment as human beings, is spending time with those persons
we
love.

And since people need affection and nourishment, material thin! gs can
only
help up to a certain degree in fostering love. But it can never replace
the
greatest gift of presence becuz everyone needs someone - be it friends,
parents, siblings or simply that 'special' one.

Being there for someone need not necessary mean having to say alot.
Words
are sometimes redundant. Remember that 'presence' (to be there for
someone)is more than enough.

"What Is Most Valuable Is Not What You Have In Your Life, But Who You
Have
In Your Life".

My first post - Life is about choices

It took me quite a while to start blogging.

Though I have started in Friendster's blog but somehow it was very spontaneous and inspiration kind of blogs on my trainings and running(sometimes 1 month only 1 blog). Since it's on Friendster hence its only accessible to my friends and those who has friendster account. That's why I made a decision to get a blog online and hope to share with more people on the internet and started to blog on anything ranging from my personal life, philosophies about life (life is about choices) , running experiences (why and how I started with my first full marathon in 2006 ) in a more structured way and also to blog weekly.

To be frank, when blogging started a few years back , I felt that it was for people who had alot of time to spare. But as time goes by, it just seems so out dated without a blog. So I started my first blog in Friendster on 15 Aug 06 (take a look at it at http://ethansct.blogs.friendster.com/additional_harddisk_for_m/ )

Let me share a story that I find it very meaningful and useful in handling our life.
CHOICES

Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good
mood and always has something positive to say:

When someone would ask him how >he was doing,
He would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day,
Michael was there telling the employee how they could look on the positive side of the
situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don't get it!

You can't be a positive person all of the time.
How do you do it?"

Michael replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have >two choices
today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in >a
bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood.

Each time something bad happens, >I can choose to be a victim or I choose to learn from it.
I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining
or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive >side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

Yes, it is," Michael, said.

Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to situations.
You choose how people affect your mood.
Your bottom line: "It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Michael said.
Soon after, I left the company to start my own business. We lost >touch, but I often
thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting >to it.

Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
After 18 hours of surgery >and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods >placed in his back.

I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him >how he was,
he replied. "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as >the
>accident took place. '
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well being of my >soon to be born
daughter," Michael replied.
"Then, as I lay on the ground, I >remembered that I had two choices:
I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose >to live."

Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Michael continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me >I was going to be fine.

But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.

In their eyes, I read, "he's a dead man". I knew I needed to take action.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Michael.
"She asked if I was allergic to anything. "Yes, I replied."

The >doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply.

I took a deep breath and yelled..."Gravity."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live.
Operate on >me as if I am alive, not dead."

Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.

I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully
Attitude, after all, is everything.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself